Sunshine Sadie Mae

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Merry Christmas from Sadie Mae

I originally had considered having pictures done of Sadie and I for our Christmas cards, but then my self-image has gone downhill over the last couple months with the skin condition I had last month and then with the weight gain I've had recently due to medication I was on for anxiety and depression.  Then as I contemplated this last years events, etc., I recalled this picture we took the day before Sadie's open heart surgery in July.  We were in Salt Lake, had been up to the hospital for preops and I was ready to fall apart emotionally, so I took Sadie to Temple square and spent a few hours.  As we entered the upper level where the Christus is on Temple Square.. Sadie immediately knew it was a place of reverence and she would hold her finger to her lips and tell me .. .shh..shh..shh.. but then in a burst of excitement would holler HELLO.. then repeated.. and HELLO...   A group of Spanish speaking people were there and the missionaries were speaking to them in Spanish.. as they finished and moved on with their tour primary music began to play and Sadie approached the Christus with reverence, stretching out her arms in imitation of the Christ and then she began twirling to the music, in dance.  I have no doubt she knows who Christ is.  I of, course, sat and sobbed as only a mother can, knowing what I was about to put her through the following day in 6 hours of open heart surgery, trusting my care to the surgeons and surgical team and God to take care of her.  My faith has been tested much this year.

This past week the Down Syndrome family had to say good-bye to one of God's little ones, Millie, after catching a virus from open heart surgery.  She found the line to Jesus and went home to him.  My heart aches for those she left behind; her family and loved ones.   With her passing I cherish my time with Sadie more and more.  Tomorrow is not promised.  The present is our gift in life.  Sadie is teaching me more and more to live in the present.  She rarely complains and uses every bit of energy she has daily to explore, to learn and rejoice in life.   She's taught me to dance and sing more often and pause at the singing of the birds and the beauty and blessings God has granted us.

I'm so blessed with my new home.  I know God found the way to move us here and led us to our home and to our church family and neighbors.  I have so many confirmations this is where we belong, and yet I still will doubt my reasons for being here as I long to see my children and grandchildren, Dad and extended family. 

I'm learning to have faith and trust in the Lord and not my own understanding, which interestingly one of my favorite scriptures has always been Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all ways acknowledge him and he shall direct they paths".

This is much like Sadie's first Christmas.  She is finally aware of the sights and sounds of the holiday season. She knows now what a present is and that it is meant to be unwrapped.  I've longed for this day. I took her to the storybook parade. Well we actually went with Jennifer Ganowski and her daughters, who ate her up.

We went to the display of the Nativities Sunday and listened to some wonderful Christmas music by community members.  Sadie was in awe at the live Nativity with the primary kids and at the beautiful musical talent in the church chapel.  We then drove around and looked at Christmas lights and in Sadie's own words "wow... wow".

I'm learning so much from this beautiful creation of God.  She is truly amazing.  Stubborn, full of spice and into everything, but my world, and what a wonderful world it is.

No comments: