Friday, August 14, 2009
Our new home for a Season...
Mom and I moved to our new home yesterday. Grandpa and Uncle Randy, bless their hearts for supporting mom, though they may doubt mommy's decision and what she truly believes in her heart and that is we are meant to be here for awhile, but she is unsure of the reason anymore. Thank you to our loving family for helping us out like they do. They are the best. They took the day off work to drive us down here and move us into our new place called home. Grandpa drove his truck and pulled a trailer, and Randy drove his service van full, and mom drove our van with stuff packed all around us. They even hooked up the washer, put the beds and mom's trashy desk together to make things easier on us.
Mom's really worried she worked Grandpa too hard this week and about his health, and contributing to his problems. She hates being inconveniencing anyone and stresses a lot when she does, or thinks she does.
I'm adjusting well to our new place. I even slept in my own bed in my own room last night, our first night here. My only words anymore are hi and bye bye bye.. I love to go bye. Mom and I took a walk on the sidewalk around the block and back home again. Last night mom had a hard time, sobbing, and doubting her decision, but she also hadn't had any sleep in 2 nights and has worked hard trying to pack and move things, work and keep me from unpacking as she packed, and well nights are usually harder on mom than the days.
We really miss Grandma. I look at her picture of me and grandma on mom's cell phone and wave at her. Mom misses her more than she thought she ever would. No one can love you like your mom.
We already miss Jeana, Jeni and their girls. Mom cries because she left them and our piano, but she felt in her heart she needed to make these sacrifices to go where God wants her to go. Mom questions God sometimes..well maybe not God so much as herself. She worries so much about doing what she should and the right thing, but she tends to just get hurt over and over for following those feelings of the heart.
Mom puts on a tough act, but she has a very sensitive heart, which tends to know a lot of hurt lately.
I know wherever we go and whatever we do that me and Mommy will always have each other. I'm her reason for getting out bed in the morning and her reason to smile and laugh, and believe that life is worth living. I'm truly a breath of heaven to her and my family.
May God bless my mommies aching heart and troubled mind. She really does deserve to be happy and to feel loved. It's so hard for her. She struggles with it all every day.. the doubts and fears. I'm trying to help her the best I can.