October 2010

Sadie's 2011 Pre-school picture.  Dang she is cute!!  I'm really surprised she cooperated with the photography.  She avoids my camera.  She really loves school.

 Finally, after getting directions from LeAnn, we drove up a canyon here to this little lake where the kiddies can fish.  Sadie struggled enough just walking on uneven ground and dirt, but she loved signing and trying to say fish and say Hey-whoa  (hello) loudly over and over to everyone we passed.  I really need to get us out more..

 I went with Sadie's preschool class to the pumpkin patch and to pick out her own pumpkin.  It was really fine seeing her in a school setting, among her friends and teachers.  I noticed she doesn't really interact with other children much.  It makes me sad for her.  She seems to get anxious more.  She holds her hair or pulls on her hair some and does this eye thing when she is tense.  It breaks my heart.  But the field trip wasn't like that so much. We really had a good time.  She loves being around kids. She just doesn't know how to interact and play with them; at least as far as I can tell.

 And "the pumpkin" has been chosen.  She was so proud.  She has a wonderful aide, who is hers alone. She is very very fortunate to have the one-on-one aide, and she is sooo good with Sadie too!  So is her teacher, Carolyn Pace, and her speech therapist, occupational therapist and physical therapist.  I'm so grateful to everyone who plays a part in Sadie's life. 

Sadie, Alisha?and Taylor Roberts (LeAnn's kids) at the DS Awareness walk. Cedar City actually had a Down Syndrome event!  The support here is awful.  Sadie was the only DS little kid, but she got spoiled with attention.  LeAnn's daughter smothered her, but in a good way. 

 A Sadie moment in our backyard.  We love pink. I love Sadie.  She is so amazing and I feel so guilty and bad when I'm short with her or get angry over "spilt-milk" so to speak. She is so sensitive and tender with her emotions.  (gee wonder where she gets that from)  She gets her feelings hurt and her pouty cry is pathetically sad.  But, Sadie all-in-all is just an amazing miracle. 


My how time go by.

Sadie is back in school and loves the routine of things, her new aide. I can't believe how she has grown since her surgery.  I just boxed up all her size 3Ts and soon 4s will be going too.

The downer side of things is that I've been falling apart ever since surgery was done and all.  I guess I'm a delayed reactor or the stress of everything doesn't come out until things are a little better. I broke out with impetigo, lived with it for weeks before I found out what it was.  First thing the doctor said was.. You have a lot of stress in your life, don't you?  Apparently, that is what set off the impetigo, which is  staph infection. over $200 prescriptions that same day, plus the $40 co-pay really helped the situation... NOT.  That was just the dermatologist.  I then finally, decided after living here a year, having Sadie's doctors, etc., established,  that I needed to establish primary care here for me as well, so I made an appointment with an internist to establish care and get refills of my meds and back on anti-anxiety medication.  I hated going back on them. I feel like such a failure at life, but I was at a scary point, and have really bottomed out as far as myself goes, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.   okay so another $120 have racked up on co-pays and got refills, plus another addition to my meds, and then I broke out in hives (before starting the new medication). Dermatologist crossed it off as stress, again, and prescribed another medication. My glasses were so scratched up I established care for my eyes as well, and another $40 co-pay and $50 in contacts. 
I'm upset and feel very selfish for having to put so much into myself lately.  I worry so much about losing my home. 



The ticker.. that finally was the last straw, I believe, for me was the break up with the boyfriend, AGAIN. Life is so shittty alone.  It takes two to hold strong against lives winds and storms, but I stand alone with my Savior there spiritually for me, but I needed him.  I know his life is stressful and that he can't love me like I love him, but just to poof and disappear on me again amongst everything else, is just wrong.  I honestly will never attempt another relationship.  It's better to stand alone than to have someone pretend they like you awhile, date you, take you to the Temple for weeks in a row.. then poof.. gone... without a trace that he gave a rats ass.

I am literally falling apart.  We are now so far behind on bills that I had to beg the power company to take payments on our overdue amount. I don't have enough to pay Novembers mortgage payment and it's already the 5th.  Here I am far away from family, missed my granddaughter, Clara's birth last month, and I feel like a shitty mom and grandma too.   I feel like such a failure at everything. 

Anyway enough of my woes.  I've also become a whiner.. sheesh. It's gotta end.

Sadie broke her glasses and I'm trying to see if medicaid will pay on a pair especially made for kids with DS, with the lower ears, smaller bridge of her nose, etc.   I rigged her glasses with pink duct tape and added a strap and she still tears them off, and won't wear them, and yet I believe her vision has gotten worse with her depth perception specifically.  She is even more hesitant about what is a step and what is not, and won't step down them without more support than she has been.

On the upside.. she called me momma two times in a row last week; however, has not said it again, which is typical. 

We haven't been able to get her bowels under control since surgery.  She gets so backed up and then explodes into a real mess when finally we get it broke up and loose.  Last night was one of those explosions.

I sound depressing, huh?  Maybe, because at times it is.  I've raised 5 children, grown and on their own now, but no experience with them can really compare with life with a child with disabilities.  It's a tough job, and generally I do it well, but it wears on one, especially one OLD single lady, trying to do it all alone.  I'm not complaining about Sadie.  She's the best gift from God, and she does bring me much joy and sunshine.. in my cloudy world.

Communication and potty training (which we haven't even attempted, because she has no clue) are the hardest things for us right now.  It frustrates us both to tears.  She screams because after several attempts at really trying to show me what she wants or what is wrong.. she can't communicate it to me and I can't read her mind.   She is improving, and has done so a LOT.  When she wants something in the fridge she'll tap my arm and walk to the fridge, same with the door, etc.  She randomly walks up to people and hugs them. Before it was just family and Mr. Dumped Julie.   She acts so healthy that you'd never know she had open heart surgery a few months ago.  Medicaid is finally paying for her diapers. She is on the biggest size in infants diapers and it's a squeeze getting them on her, but at least I don't have that expense now.  Every little bit counts.

Now to count my blessings.  I am living one of my dreams. I am a home owner.  I never dreamed I'd have my own home and yard, and wah-lah.. God brought me to it.  I know.. I know without a shadow of a doubt and that God lives that his is my home and I'm meant to be here.  Though, I'm sure are lives here are meant to touch others with Sadie's sweet Spirit, I honestly believe the main reason we are here just walked out on us and told me to move on.  He doesn't believe any of it and has used his free agency to walk away from us.  I'm nothing grand, but I know I'll be blessed raising Sadie and having her in my life and so is everyone who knows her.   She really bonded with him. First when she was still under a year old.. and then last year when we visited and again in February she wanted him so bad in the pharmacy and I blew him off  because I couldn't to the rejection thing again... which I gave in and did... 2 more times.. and now I'm done.......Damn him.

Life goes on.

Last week I dug in the shed and got out all my holiday Barbies. Over 25 of them line the peak of my vaulted ceiling in a small landing/shelf like area.   I'm gonna paint the house pink (ok not really literally pink) but I'm making my house a girlie girl house and gonna just play dolls with Sadie for the remainder of my days on earth... and to hell with men.   I'm using my free agency to be a bitter old lady.  so there.  (big talker too).

Sadie's IEPs

 Sadie finishing up her Happy Meal we got at McDonalds after her IEP meetings

Sadie at McDonalds.  She is just learning to "dip" which I guess doesn't seem like a big deal to most parents, but for Sadie this is a sign her motor skills are getting a bit better.  She still grasps whole handed and doesn't use the pinching of the fingers much, but it will come... in time... in time...

Sadie was very excited to be at the school today.. she ran to her classroom and her teacher, open armed and gave her a big hug, then ran to the PT room to jump in the pool of balls.  She loves school and school loves her.  Her "team" all expressed how much they love and enjoy Sadie, and remarked about the glowing spirit she carries about her.  It's always good to hear things like that.  Her teacher told me last year the kids would fight over who got to sit by Sadie. 

They were prepared for her, somewhat.  Her teacher showed me how she rearranged her classroom such that most things were out of Sadie's reach.  However, as we were discussing her goals, etc., she discovered the paper towel dispenser and if you pull on it and rip.. more paper comes from the dispenser.  Good luck with them hiding that!  lol

On the downer side, even though I know Sadie's delayed a lot and that she is more of a 2-year-old developmentally than her age of 4, it's hard to be slapped with the reality of things when I'm filling out papers for school or discussing her abilities and goals with her teachers and therapists.  The hard part for first was forcing myself to fill out her registration papers.   Mothers name... Julie.. Fathers name .... None.  Step-father's name and number...None.   Others in the home... None.  Emergency contact number?? .... alternate drop off for the bus????  and it's times like these that I feel more displaced than ever and I start doubting why I'm here, away from family, etc.,    Am I really doing the right thing? Even though so many times I've had the calming reassurance that I am??

They are keeping Sadie in the 3-year-old preschool class again this year, so won't be moved up to the 4-year-old class until the next school year and who knows when she'll make it into kindergarten.  Not that it matters.  It really doesn't. Sadie is Sadie, but sometimes there are little moments that it really hurts that she's not "normal".

Sadie went to bed by 8:30 last night.  Evenings are so hard on me.  I used to get so much work done in the evening, but now in those long lonely hours my mind travels far off elsewhere, on spiritual matters and on what life is really all about, where I am and where am I going from this point.

I was on such a high the first part of the month with so many wonderful spiritual things happening in my life, and now this slap of reality and back to the real world bit has me down, way down, and I realize it's Satan working on me, but it's a tough battle.

I got on the church web site, looked at my personal geneology and it depressed me further.  I read through the Proclamation of the Family, written by the first Presidency and is considered as modern day scripture. One sentence stands out to me and it eats at me and eats at me, until I've realized I just can't look at my geneology family pages or read the proclamation because I don't qualify for those kind of blessings.

"Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."  ~Proclamation of the Family~

When Sadie was born the church approached me about adoption. I knew the importance of a 2 parent family, and to be honest, back then I truly honestly felt I could see the future, that Sadie and I would have an intact family, with a mother and a father, and I had reason to believe so.  I'd been told I wasn't going to be alone in raising her.  How wrong he was.  Yet, through my prayers and serious consideration on wanting to do right by Sadie, I truly felt adopting her out was not right and that she would have a mother and a father, that God had a plan for her that involved both.....I've failed her in that respect. 

I know I need to get past my way of thinking on these things, and yet how can I ignore what God wants for us?  Are Sadie and I not worthy of those blessings?   Yes, I've been told Sadie doesn't need life saving ordinances, such as baptism, etc., but she does have a right to an eternal family, and I don't care what people say.. God isn't going to wave a magic wand and just make her mine for eternity.  As mortals we have a responsibility to take the necessary steps for God to grant us his blessings.


And I could go on all day about, but I won't.  It just gets me worked up and down on myself, and I start doubting my personal revelations and Spiritual guidance, and become very depressed, which has been the case the last 2 days.

Life is what it is.   I made the choices I did.  Things haven't gone as I thought they were supposed to and what I thought were what God wanted for us.  Admitting I was wrong in my interpretations is really hard on me, but I have to just put it all out of my mind.

I still feel I'm where I'm supposed to be.  I love my home, etc., but I do get horribly homesick, and yet I know if I went home to visit I'd just be in a hurry to get back here.. to... what?

I'm doing all I feel God has led me to, but somehow the pieces to the puzzle aren't together, yet, and may never be.  There are too many complications and too many other's feelings and beliefs involved, that rule me out.

So, onward... Back to our abnormal "normal" life.  Sadie will be back in school.  Winter will come and I'm already battling the fall/winter blues that hit me every year.  The holiday's are coming and they depress me further. I used to love them so much.   Spending time with my grown kids and grandkids are awesome and I live for moments I see them, and yet attending family things without a supportive other half or immediate family....just Sadie and I the misfits in the crowd..... nothing can replace that one person in your life that makes a family a family... your other half... that's the missing link that haunts me... and I have to let it go.  I have to.

I'm trying hard to accept the fact that I only have 5 children linked to me eternally and that Sadie Mae is only a mortal life loan to me by God to learn from.  I provided her a body and she is providing me earthly and temporal purpose.  Eternally she is God's and only a mortal gift to me.  I have to remind myself this daily and quit trying expect more or feel like a failure because I couldn't provide her a two-parent home or an eternal family.


Sadie is adapting well to her CPAP, though the mask is leaving a rash around her face daily. I've been applying eucerin cream a couple times daily and last night even tried Cavilon on her face in hopes to prevent more irritation, but we'll see how it goes.

Her favorite thing right now is her personal DVD player that she keeps next to my desk with me, watching video's over and over, insisting the radio be on at the same time.  Why am I paying DISH TV?  we don't ever watch it.

Financially I'm struggling to get back on track from our summer "vacations" at the hospital and doctors offices, but I'll get there.  With Sadie gone a few hours 4 days a week I can hopefully get some work done and being in a routine again will be healthy for us both.

More postsurgery fun..

Amy and Sadie.  Before the sleep study we met up with one of my high school friends from Albany, Oregon, who has been living in St. George since she got married in 1979!  Sadie and Amy bonded right away and we had a fantastic visit.  It was soo good to see Pam after all these years.  It's like our friendship just took off where it was years ago.  I believe we shall be making it a point to visit more often.   Pam was actually able to meet us at the Temple my first time back in 7 years on August 10th.  It was an amazing experience.

 Sadie and I on our front steps one evening after we were home from surgery.

 Sadie with ice cream everywhere on our swing I had bought when we were in Logan before Sadie's surgery. We had a couple friends who came over and put it together for us.. and Sadie loves it. She swings and says.. "wee... weeee"... We love it.

 My first night back at the Temple I was frantically looking for sitters for Sadie, as I hadn't ever really left Sadie while living here.  My friend Sandi's daughters, Stacia and Katie (who both sat at the hospital with their mom, me, my dad and Cassie the 5+ hours in the waiting room during Sadie's surgery) volunteered to drive up from Salt Lake and spend the night with us and watch her.  Sadie loved her slumber party with the big girls. And I know these two lovely girls earned some angelic points in heaven!  Bless their sweet, sweet hearts to provide such a service for me and Sadie Mae.   I'm so blessed.

Sadie's first night wearing the CPAP mask.   Broke my heart putting it on her and hooking her up and watching her throughout the night. She did great.  I was a wreck!



Holy smokes, where did the last month go?  I'll tell you where!!  Sadie had her sleep study in St. George the last week in July, which was a total nightmare.  I expected it to be sleepless, but it was traumatic. They had 21 wired leads on her hooked to a machine, several of which were on her headed, put in place with plaster.  It took 3 hours to get them all on her. They were coming off as fast as they put them on after her tolerance level died 2 hours into the process.  A few never did get hooked up. She had about 12 inches of wire from her to the machine, and her oxygen tubing kept coming loose through out the night as it never got taped down... so the whole night was wrestling match trying to keep things attached and her moving around too much to disconnect it all.

We then had her followup on August 4th with the cardiothoracic docs.  Her heart is doing so well they didn't even hear her murmur at ALL.  Before surgery you could hear it with your ear near her chest!.  They said the right side of her heart is working awesome and they didn't put her back on any hypertension meds. The only medicine she is on now is her thyroid medicine.  A total miracle!!  All those hundreds and thousands of prayers in her behalf were answered.  I was so thrilled.   Suddenly, I felt a change in the wind, that we were being truly blessed and good things were coming our way.

On August 12th I took her back to St. George for the results of the sleep study, which wasn't so wonderful news.  Sadie has severe obstructive sleep apnea, with her breathing stopping about 116 times an hour, soo since I didn't want to even discuss surgery at this point, the doctor told us the preferred option would be CPAP and if she wouldn't tolerate that then it would be the oxygen still at nighttime.  I just wanted to cry.  So, we had to try on masks and fit her for one.. In the meantime her stomach has been sour, so she kinda cut loose on their bed.. it was soo embarrassing. I had to run out to the van for a 3rd diaper and wipes.   5 weeks after surgery and still can't get her bowels regulated!! 

Surprisingly, Sadie has done very well with the CPAP and wearing the mask at night.  We've had one bad night.  Her skin doesn't care for the mask and her face is breaking out with eczema.

The last two weeks have been....crazy.. amazing.. mind rushing... heavenly.. and yet ahhhhhhhh... I'm truly, truly blessed.

Sadie has bounced back to her normal very active, strong-willed Sadie.... and we are both looking forward to her going back to preschool on the 30th.  I have to take her to the school Tuesday for her IEPs with the teacher and therapists.  :D

Also next week she is cleared pretty much to play on playground equipment again, so we will be making our evening walks to the school again to play on the slides and such.

I love summer... and it's hard to see it end.   But, what a rush it has been. Buying my home in the spring, trying to get settled and surgeries set up and done, and rush, rush,, rush.... so sad it's gone without more fun...but good to be done with surgery for awhile now.

First week home, July 24, 2010, Saturday

Sadie got a package from Santa and his elf.  Color wonder markers and a princess marker book, and mommy got some bath and body goods... Calgon take me away!

We've been home a week now.  A crazy week at that.  The first part of the week was on the phone, off the phone waiting for calls and setting up appointments and rearranging appointments, discussing the drain tube site that opened up after Sadie was straining to have a bowel movement.   On discharge x-rays we were told her bowels were packed and they attempted a suppository while still at the hospital with no luck.  We then loaded her on lots of juice and Metamucil for days afterward.  After the site opened I cleaned it and covered it with a Bandaid over night, but removed it in the morning to air it out and clean it again.  The drainage was very foul smelling and I began to worry.   Talked to the doctors, drew an ink line around it and watched it.  I ended up having the girls next door watch Sadie Tuesday night while I ran to the store for suppositories. She was so miserable, not eating and straining with no results.  Finally, she had a large hard painful  bowel movement with the suppository she was not happy about having.   I knew in the subsequent days there would be a lot more coming from the bottom end and prepared myself.   The fun begins.

Finally, after back and forth phone calls with our pediatrician, the physicians and PCMC , their sleep center and another one we found in St. George, we finally got some appointments made.

This coming Wednesday, July 28th, we have a sleep study consult in St. George at 3:00 p.m. in the afternoon with the sleep study to follow that night beginning at 8:00.   Pray Barney makes it there and back okay.  I've stocked up on Antifreeze :D   

August 4th, is her followup appointment in Salt Lake with the cardiothoracic team.  Until this time she cannot bath or get her incision site wet.   The drain site got really bad and looked as though it was spreading the night before last, but the scab fell off in the night, drained some, and now the redness is going down and I think is finally healing.  Giving her a sponge bath yesterday and wetting her hair and redoing the braids was torture.

She has slept in her own bed the last 3 nights with her oxygen tubing down the back of her PJs.  I've learned a wrestling maneuver that helps with the struggle with the tender grips on her cheeks and attaching the tubing at night, and we are getting in the groove of things somewhat.

During our first week home.. I've tried to get the house clean. It was still a mess from when the grand kids were here earlier in the month.   I shampooed the front room carpet and Sadie's room. I put together my book shelf and start eliminating junk and crap from the house.  The dining room/work area is still in need of attention.  I've mowed the lawn, pulled weeds, dug up some more of the garden, planted some more flowers, and have kept myself busy as I can, and until tonight haven't been able to sit down at the computer very long without being distracted, afraid if I stopped I'd fall completely apart.

A friend came by a few times and has fixed my sprinkling system for me, so now I can water everything and it is working well.  It amazes me what stressed me out for over a month and gave me grief in trying to fix the piping took a man a few minutes.  There are just somethings, I must admit, I just can't do.  But, I still refuse to admit I need a man.  I can't let myself believe that anymore.

Today, was my down day.  It's all hitting me now.  This is how it works with me... when the dust settles somewhat I lose it.

I worked in the yard yesterday and again this morning.   It's a Utah holiday. A girlfriend invited me to their town pioneer parade, but I didn't want to go anywhere.  Well, I did, but where I wasn't really welcome.  I have to remind myself consistently that things aren't the way I want and never will be.  I'm on my own and always will be.  Sadie and I are it.  I just struggle getting out doing things, just us too.

Today, I've been totally emotional, crying.  I tried working it off outside.  I then unboxed the porch swing/glider I bought while in Cache Valley, with visions of Sadie and I swinging in the evenings and watching the birds.   I looked at the instructions and broke into tears, and didn't even attempt the thousand bolts, screws and parts. 

I worked a few hours while Sadie napped.  She's been a bit grumpy today and has needed a long nap both yesterday and today.   I finally decided to nap myself.   I'm depressed, and I can't let myself be that way.

I just can't.

Tonight I feel so alone, lonely and totally spent.

I admit it. Tonight, I need to be held and the comfort of a loving man's strong arms around me, but admitting it is even more painful.   It isn't going to happen in this life time.

Somehow, somewhere I need to cow girl up and gain the strength to carry on without the tears and longing for that kind of comfort...

and I will..  I am becoming stronger and I will bury that part of Julie.. the insecure, needy, dependent, loser part of me.  I have to.

First Day Home postop, Saturday July 17, 2010

Cassie had road home to Cedar City with us Friday to see our house and such, spent Friday and Saturday night in Sadie's princess room, and Sadie and the oxygen tank slept with me.   What a nightmare trying to get the oxygen on her and trying to sleep with it as she tossed and turned and climbed all over me all night, hanging onto a leg here and there so she didn't dive off the edge of my bed.  I could see this was not going to work like this or we'd never sleep again!!

The Bishop and his wife came by Saturday, bringing leftovers from a funeral and to see how we were doing.

Praxair called and brought by the oxygen converter and more tubing and supplies.

I did more unpacking and cleaning.

Sunday morning we drove Cassie to catch a shuttle to Salt Lake downtown and say our goodbyes.

We are home now and on our own.  Now what?

Postop day 4, Friday July 16, 2010

 Sadie actually loving the sticker book and tried really hard at sticking the stickers on the pages. She really loved doing it.  It's the first time she's ever wanted to do the sticker thing. 

 Waiting and waiting for discharge.  Sadie decides to make a phone call on her princess phone and make my bed while we were waiting and waiting to be discharged.  (that bed was so NOT comfortable and sleep did not come)

waiting and waiting in the van after discharge with Cassie, singing kids songs, while mom is waiting and waiting at the pharmacy for meds that had been called down and not ready... grrr.... (car is running and a/c on in the hot weather)


After the cardiothoracic team meet early Friday morning they agreed to release Sadie to home.  I knew it would take awhile to be discharged, but had really expected to be gone by noon.  NOT.   I asked the nurses when it would be a good time to check out of the hotel Cassie was in, so as not to miss the physician, etc., she sent me right then.  I wasn't gone 20 minutes and I missed the physician, of course!!!!  It took hours for her to get back to us to start the discharge process.

Jeana had called and said she was going to Jessica's to do a Mary Kay party that evening.  I told her to hurry and come early and we could see her.   She ended up beating me to Jessica's in Eagle Mountain.

Finally, by 2:00 or so we were released with a tank of oxygen and orders for more, a followup appointment, orders to get a sleep study before her followup appointment for sleep apnea and then continued oxygen RX from doctor after that if found to be necessary, pain medicine and Lasix, and we were off to Eagle Mountain in heavy traffic in an over-heated Barney mobile.   I was so ready to go home.  I was too tired to cry over having to go back to the oxygen bit again.

I picked up a party pack at Del Taco for lunch for Jessica, Jeana and I, and stopped in at Jessica's for a late lunch and visit with 2 of my daughters, grandkids Braxton and Baylee Ann.   I was worried how Braxton would take Sadie's scar and bandages, knowing he'd have to have his heart fixed in the following weeks.  He did well.

I let Barney cool while at Jessica's, but I smack myself for not adding antifreeze at the time or at least checking it.  We ended up running the heater in heavy traffic again from Jessica's to Nephi, and I begin to majorly stress.   I couldn't have Sadie exposed to the heat on water pills and recovering from heart surgery, yet I couldn't explode the van in the middle of nowhere either, and Cassie knew even less about cars than I did.

We stopped in Nephi to top off the gas tank.  The engine was so hot that when I removed the gas cap gas sprayed out all over me, and I went into the mini-mart to get use the restroom, bawl, pray and buy more antifreeze, Diet Coke and something for Sadie to eat.  It was a Chevron and I ended buying her the Breast Cancer awareness car and Jazz car...lol.  She loves them.

And we headed out, once again, watching the temp gauge all the way home, but home we made it.  Home sweet home.

Got everything unpacked and in the house and crashed.  Sadie was happy to be home.

Postop Day 3, Thursday, July 15

Natalie Clyde and her husband had visited me and Cassie in the waiting room, Tuesday night, I believe and brought us a care package. Junk food and m&m's for me :)  Sadie a princess nightlight for her princess room and a strawberry shortcake sticker book, and Katie had brought Sadie the stuffed lamb which she adores and laughed out of control when I'd give it to her and say baaaa....baaaa.  She was asleep when Katie saw her, so I took a picture of her with it for her.

Thursday we got moved to the floor.  Yipppeee.. Finally.   I set up my lap top and got some work done as Sadie continued to watch Tinkerbell.  That morning in NICU the nurse had got her out of bed when she was trying to do it herself and she very unsteadily and weakly walked a bit down the hall to find a video and toys.

By Thursday night  she was running the halls on the third floor saying hi.. hi.. hi to everyone and bye bye as she drove around in the lil coupe toy car and playing with her toys.

We were so ready to go home.

However, still on oxygen when sleeping and during the night as her sats wouldn't maintain while she was sleeping.